Do you feel that you somehow lose yourself in your love relationships? Does the baggage of your lover tend to get the best of you, and end up becoming your problems as well?
Then this article is definitely for you!
The hard truth is that women just put up with too damn much [excuse my French] especially nurturing, sweet women or men.
Unfortunately, the beautiful qualities of compassion, sweetness, and empathy can be taken as weakness to a man or woman (let me not be bias) who is broken and looking for the “perfect opportunity” to get the best of someone, or a situation that suits their needs.
There are some selfish, unconscious people out there who are looking for vulnerable, kind-hearted souls that they can manipulate into a world of deception. They feed on the desirable romantic needs of others to get what they want.
The great news is your DNA was strategically hardwired with antennas that perk up when something in your territory is not right. You have that little voice in your subconscious that screams at you when there is someone making you feel down or unhappy.
So why do we only choose to listen when it gets real or are in danger? Why only listen when the train is too hard to stop or get off?
If you are noticing any of these signs in your relationship, it’s time to reevaluate the situation and possibly make some moves.
At first it feels like love at first sight. Your love story is truly written in the heavenly books, and something to remember. All of that lasts for about a month, maybe more and you start to notice things are ever so changing, and going down a dark alley.
Sign #1 – Your Demeanor is Changing
Have you heard that saying “Birds of a feather flock together”? Yes it’s an old saying, and sometimes it can be inevitable that when you’re in a relationship, you start to act like the other person. Certain mannerisms that you carry start to blend with theirs and vice versa. BUT if you notice that his/her bad habits are starting to become your own, and they are not making you a better person, this could be the beginning of too much niceness creeping in.
Sign# 2- Your Soul is “Feeling” Uncomfortable Around them
In a healthy relationship, you should feel completely comfortable to be your authentic true self. Your interests, habits, flaws and all should be perfectly okay for your significant other. For example, if you are a book worm that loves to curl up with a great book and a cup of coffee, your partner should accept that and allow you your space. If you begin to compromise the things you love (more than you should) because your partner feels that you should be giving them more attention, then you know you are being too damn nice. You should never have to feel like you come second or third to anyone in a relationship, and this could be a sign that your lover is too needy. We all have hobbies, interests and little things that bring joy and color to our lives. It is vital that your partner respects your space, and allows you to have “Me Time”; you will go crazy without it. If you sense suffocation lurking, it’s time to head the other way.
Sign #3 You’re Saying YES When You Mean NO.
You know you have work in the morning, but they want to spend one more night. You have to get to sleep by 9pm so you won’t feel groggy or sluggish at work, but they insist, and you give in. Or maybe he asks to use your car, even though you’ve never asked or seen his driver’s license, and your first mind tells you to say “Hell No”, but for some reason “Yes” goes rolling off of your tongue. In these situations, if you are acting beyond your normal self, and saying yes to situations that you know you would normally scream No too, then you are being too nice.
Saying yes to going beyond your boundaries is a double-edged sword. You disregard your better judgment, and potentially harm the very things that mean so much to you. This can range from your freedom, space, time, material possessions, and more. Trust yourself, your soul knows best, and usually your “first mind is always right”. Your partner should respect your decisions, and the way you feel, and if they don’t so be it. Just know that you can’t please everybody, and find freedom in that.
In conclusion, the last thing you want to be is a doormat. There is someone out there that will appreciate the wonderful, unique qualities that make you YOU, but you have to love you first.
As the ancient Egyptian Ancestors said “Know Thy Self”, and this mantra is still true today. To love yourself, also means to know yourself, and the beautiful power you were born with. Express your wishes to the ultimate length, even if it means that sometimes you have to say NO. There is great power in honoring your authenticity and knowing when enough is enough. The right person will respect and admire you for being the true Queen or King that you are. Don’t break your back trying to make up for someone else’s strength. Remember there should be balance, harmony and love and it shouldn’t cost you, your sanity. Save yourself.
Your Soul Sister Zayda